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Memorial Day and Reconciliation
From its very outset, Memorial Day was meant to be a day of remembrance and reconciliation. Let me explain.
Our celebration of Memorial Day (originally called Decoration Day) had its origins in the 1860’s following the end of our country’s Civil War. Amid the fog of history, it’s somewhat difficult to pinpoint its actual starting point except to say that it seems that many towns across the country held spontaneous gatherings to honor the Union War dead.
In 1868 General John A. Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, gave his official proclamation. The original purpose of this special day was reconciliation – coming together to honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice. Decoration Day was then extended after World War I to honor our soldiers who died in all wars.
By the early 20th century, Memorial Day became an opportunity also to visit the graves of all deceased relatives, whether they served in the military or not. It also grew into marking the beginning of summer vacation season.
The Brighter Side of Life
Several years ago, at the birth of my darling cousin, I found a wonderful famed saying for the occasion, “The birth of a child is a sign that God 
has hope for us yet.” When we see all the challenges were are dealing with in our own lives and in our world, we can be tempted to lose hope. When the dark months of our New England winter have now yet grown into the crisp air and bright sunshine of springtime, we can feel down. But with the noted poet, Alexander Pope, we can still agree that: “Hope springs eternal in the human breast…”
Just look at the uprisings in the Arab world – they are signs to us that, despite decades of oppression, the yearning for true freedom still beats in our heart of hearts. Through the triple disasters still being borne by the people of Japan, they are deeply shocked and saddened, and they certainly need our help. But from their cultural determination, they will eventually put one foot in front of the other and almost stoically move on in hope. In times of personal challenges, we too can choose to see either an insurmountable problem or a challenging opportunity.
Justice in the Form of Mercy
The following is a remarkable true story in which I was personally involved while I was serving in my home parish of Our Lady of Sorrows in Hartford, CT.
The story broke in March of 1986. As we New Englanders know so well, March is the time of year when winter darkness begins to yield to the light, when many of us are weary and bored with winter clothing and shoveling snow. Our hearts are ripe for the promise of spring, for a story of hope and forgiveness such as this one.
Americo Figuerido was a young parishioner, a pampered only child. For a number of years I was well aware of his parent's marital problems. His father, a staunchly proud, immigrant, strong and hardworking figure was rightfully proud of his younger wife and their very bright and gifted son. Then things changed.
His wife's mental health began to deteriorate. She eventually began affairs with a series of men. In fact, after she moved out of the house, she used to torment her husband by phoning him and describing the things she did with these men.
Then one day it happened. The final straw was when Americo, his only child, by then a high school senior, fled the house to escape the threats of his mother and her lover. The once-quiet, responsible 62-year-old husband, found himself deeply depressed and despondent over his younger wife's flagrant infidelities, and her taunts regarding her exploits.
A Future for Truth, Morality and Simple Goodness?
At the risk of bordering on a purely philosophical discussion, I find that the word “truth” is getting a bad rep nowadays. It seems to come in all sizes and packages. It is foisted on us in the latest opinion uttered by persons who think killing doctors who perform abortions to be “what needs to be done to preserve life.” The noted Samuel Johnson, English poet and renaissance man of the 1700’s, once mused, tongue in cheek: “Truth, sir, is a cow; which, when skeptics have found it will give them no more milk, they have gone off to milk the bull.”
In the Christian scriptures, we have probably heard about the incident when Pilate asked Jesus “What is truth?” The irony was that, according to Christian belief, Jesus, the Truth, was standing right in front of him. As the saying goes, “There are none so blind as those who will not see.” At times I see the blind leading the blind and it frustrates me.
Hu-manly Catholic Men And Women
(This article, by Fr. Gene Barrette, M.S., was originally printed
in The Georgia Bulletin)
A recent column by Lorraine Murray (“A Salute To Manly-Man Catholics,” Oct. 14, 2010) led me to give the role of men in today’s world a closer look. I found some of the phrases and images used truly needed a close, Gospel-eyed examination of their content. I’d like to share another perspective on this, both as a man and a priest.
The columnist, whose work I generally enjoy and find insightful, described a “manly-man” in part as the man who fulfills his responsibilities and obligations in the familiar societal and culturally defined male roles. That’s fine. But is it truly realistic and reflective of today’s world?
As I was reading, I was conscious of the very manly men I know who are very stressed out and not quite able to do and be what the article describes. This is because their jobs don’t have stable, consistent hours; their jobs are not always close to home. Their work worlds are chaotic, insecure, unpredictable, and often require time away from home for business trips. True, many men do accomplish the family tasks and activities described. This is usually accomplished because it is divvied up between family members and not done solo. The divvying up today undoubtedly is a tribute to the newly acquired management skills of the wife/mother and the husband/father. And this in no way diminishes the manly-man Catholic presence.
John Henry Cardinal Newman
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| Fr. Stanley Matushewski, M.S. (1915-1993) |
This article was originally published in the September 1945 issue of “Our Lady’s Missionary,” a La Salette magazine published from the 1950s to 1980s. Originally written in the post-World War II years by Fr. Stanley Matushewski, M.S., now we can read this article with the hindsight of history – especially remembering the events of Vatican II and the recent canonization of Cardinal Newman. Fr. Stanley’s words are as true as ever and worthy to be read by people of a very different age. (Editor)
When the English-speaking world finally emerges “out of the Shadows" and approaches Catholicism, it will be through the words and steps and illumination of John Henry Cardinal Newman (1801-1890)
At Rednal Hill, Birmingham, England, there is a small cross of marble marking the place where the heart of a genius rests in peace, where a hand that wrote so powerfully during life in the defense of truth withers into dust and where a voice that once stirred the mind and heart of England is hushed in eternal silence. Across the marble slab are scrawled these words: “Out of the shadows into the light of Truth.”
To Lead or To Serve: Maintaining a Healthy Balance
As a priest, I am expected to be a leader yet I am certainly called to serve others. How can I do both? When people come to me to talk about problems, I am called to offer my listening ear, not necessarily tell them what to do. When I teach a class with adults or children, I am expected to share my wisdom with the group but also be willing to learn something new from them— as I often do. As a person in charge of an office, I need to be a boss but also a caring presence to my staff. In my religious community, I may be called to give a presentation but I must also welcome their comments, suggestions, and even corrections.
Parents are leaders of and yet still members of their family. They are certainly well aware that they have many servant roles including shuttling kids to sports events, meetings, sleepovers, etc. But when their teenage child offhandedly mentions that he is using drugs, the parent should discuss this fact as soon as possible with their child and not succumb to the futile attempt to be a “buddy” or be afraid of how their child might react when they deal out some direct, tough love.
Read more To Lead or To Serve: Maintaining a Healthy Balance
The Cost of Discipleship
Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945) was a German Protestant theologian, pastor, spiritual writer, musician and poet. Imprisoned for about two years because of his opposition to National Socialism and defense of Jews, he was hanged near the end of World War II. In one of his books, The Cost of Discipleship, he wrote, “Suffering, then, is the badge of discipleship.” Anyone wishing to be a missionary must consider the high cost of discipleship.
Young Pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer with children of his parish
Jesus tells us (Lk 14:26) that whoever follows him must be willing, for the sake of the Kingdom, to give up relationships – including family – as their primary concern. Nothing worthwhile comes without a cost.
Psychologically, perhaps one of the most costly discipleship situations our missionaries have to face is being far away when a family member dies. Many times our missionaries live in relative isolation – with inadequate communication and inefficient travel possibilities – and they cannot be with family and friends when someone dies. When death is sudden and unexpected, it’s all the worse. They must bid farewell to a mother, father, sister or brother from a distance, and can only sympathize in spirit with their family. I experienced this when both my parents died.
Loving Yourself
About twenty years ago, I was working with a retreat team on Days of Recollection with teens. One exercise involved asking them to make a list of what they liked about their best friend. Typically there would be lots of busyness and laughter as they made out their list. Then we would ask them to list what they liked about themselves. The room would quickly quiet down and they would go about this much harder task. In fact, few could list anything good about themselves.
For those of us from a Jewish or Christian background, we treasure the creation story from the book of Genesis where God created the heavens and the earth, the animals and human beings and “saw that it was good.” All began as good—in fact, very good!
It’s a shame that many of us have lost God’s original vision of creation and have become so pessimistic of others and even ourselves. The truth is that there is goodness is each of us; we were made that way but sometimes we have great difficulty seeing that goodness. We have forgotten to look at others and ourselves with God’s eyes.
National Migration Week 2011
Renewing Hope, Seeking Justice is the primary theme for the 2011 National Migration Week, held January 2-8. The observance began over a quarter century ago by the bishops to provide Catholics an opportunity to take stock of the wide diversity of the Church and the ministries serving them. As the face of the local churches continue to change, these materials are becoming increasingly important. The materials created for National Migration Week also provide an important educational resource that can be used throughout the year by individuals, families, schools, and parishes to learn about the complex issues surrounding migration.